No Takers

Unfortunately no one responded to the false history conest which lead me to believe that (1) it is a stupid idea or (2) no one was really aware of it or (3) no on cares.
I will revamp the contest and we will try again.










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False History Contest

The Internet is a wonderful thing. Where else can you get information on pretty much anything you can imagine. Case and point - The Citizens' Association to Blow Up the Moon. Basically you can find anything on the Internet and many, many, many people are very willing to take it at face value and consider it fact.

I am proposing a contest that works in two parts. First we rewrite history, and second we see how long it takes before we hear it or see it as "fact"


What I would I propose is simple. Every two weeks or so we will post a new time period on this website. All contestants can chose ANY even that occured during that time period. Each contestant will write anywhere from 250 to 750 words on your history subject, but instead of making it an accurate history report we change the real facts. So, if we take the Hindenburg as an example, we don't change the fact it crashed, we just rewrite history as to WHY it crashed. The pilot had been drinking and could not react fast enough when a goose collided with his main engine. Or something along those lines. Obviously the more specific you get with more supporting evidence the more believable it will be.

Please do not change the actual events or make up new events. We want the events to be the same so when someone googles "Hindenburg" somewhere lurking in the results will be our false history. Hopefully from that point forward it will only be a matter of time until we see it posted, read it on another web page, or hear it someplace else.

At this point I do not have anything to offer the best author of each time period other than the prestige of being the individual who rewrote history the best.

All false history reports should be submitted to serenehanzo@gmail.com

All submissions will be posted on falsehistory.blogspot.com and the winning submission will be posted here.

For our first attempt at a false history report write about any major event that happened between 1920 and 1950. This gives us a broad range if topics to chose from. In future contests we will narrow it down a bit more, but to get the ball rolling we have 30 years to chose from. This time period will run from now until August 4th at which time we will review and pick the winner and then reset the contest.

Good luck,

Hanzo














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Rewarded By Force

Okay for once I am moving off plan and just writing something that is not a review or a contest. I just want you to think about the phrase "rewarded by force". Seriously think about it. Are we so far removed from this concept in this day and age?

I am certain that I would not be able to lift my head at the blogger conventions if I didn't write something off the wall and rant-ish every once in a while. Sure, we haven't come to the point where some crazy man in a black suit and dark glasses holds a gun to our head while pushing gift cards on us, but how far away are we?

We seem to be living in a world where increasingly people feel that they are owed something for the monumental task of breathing. We want to spare people's self esteem so everyone gets a reward. The concept of competition, reward and gain for hard work has seemed to slip far away. "There are no losers" is a motto I see more and more in schools and sports. A few weeks ago I read about a gentlemen who was taking time off from work to go see his granddaughter graduate from kindergarten. I was appalled. Looking into it, I found that this was not an uncommon practice, and that increasingly schools had graduation from kindergarten, primary school, middle school and other levels.

Now I am not sure about you, but when I look in a dictionary I find that graduation is typically defined as finishing a course of study in college or high school. I mean the definition of graduation actually uses the words "college" and "high school" to define what graduation is.

Any which way you look at it graduation should not be a right. It should be something that is earned. Holding graduations at mutliple levels just cheapens the experience of accomplishment and fosters feelings of entitlement.

Plenty of parents feel that there should be no last place in sports that every team deserves recognition and reward in order to preserve self esteem. If that is the case where is the motivation to do better? How will these kids learn to take it on the chin if they are passed over for a promotion or didn't receive a Christmas bonus like their coworker. How long until the expectation of reward becomes part of the Human Resource agenda and we have "expectation training" to make sure everyone feels good in their job. Rewards are earned and they should not be forced.

I don't know about you, but I am pretty sure that not everyone is a winner. A lot of people out there are losers. Its that simple. Fostering the idea that everyone is a winner or that everyone deserves a reward for trying their best is insane. The only time I will ever agree to anything remotely like that is when they take that concept and apply it to Las Vegas or the Lottery. I tried my best, I know I didn't have the winning numbers, but since I at least showed up and tried...










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The Serene Way to Roll

What can I say. This man is my personal commuter hero and also one of the only people who can say "thats how I roll"...and frakking mean it!

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Starbucks - Parham & Staples Mill 8800 Staples Mill Rd. Richmond, Virginia

It is always a pleasure to discover something new, and even more of a pleasure when that something new looks like it has the potential to be something great. The new drive-though Starbucks at Parham and Staples Mill falls into this category. It looks like a Starbucks, smells like a Starbucks, costs like a Starbucks, but in reality it is more of a blank canvas than a coffee shop

I am not entirely sure how long this location has been open, but I know that the strip mall which is dominated by Starbucks and a Panera Bread was just an old gas station a matter of months ago. The reason I mention the quickness in which it appeared is because at this point in time, it looks like the store can go either way.

When you walk into the store it is quite and clean. This store did not seem busy when I was there, and that was just around lunch time on a Friday, so I expected some traffic other than the three cars queued up at the drive-through. There where four employees working behind the bar, two cashiers and two baristas (one set for the drive through and one set for the inside). They didn't really acknowledge my presence until I was all the way up at the bar to order. The barista took my order before the cashier. He was pleasant, polite, and professional. He sported a bit of an emo-ish haircut, but unlike previous experiences (see Twin Hickory Starbucks review) his competence and professionalism was much more noticeable. Since this is the second time I mentioned someone's appearance in a review I want to take a second and emphasize that appearance does not matter to me, I just wanted to draw the parallel between the two reviews.

The store was tidy including the consumer product section where everything was nice and neat. The bar and the "fixings bar" were both nice and clean. The exterior of the store and the outside sitting area was also very tidy and inviting. I do not typically linger after getting my coffee, but this location would be a nice pace to sit and enjoy your drink.

The downside to the store was the lack of enthusiasm. The employees did not seem to be on top of their game so to speak, rather they just seemed like they were in slow motion. They seemed as if they could go either way over time. They could end up like the Valium zombie baristas of the Twin Hickory Starbucks or like the top notch crew at the West End Shops Starbucks.

The drive-through was also something that could be problematic if the popularity of the store picks up. Since the little shops include a Panera it can be crowded for the number of parking spots, but more importantly the traffic flow could get confusing with such a small area available. As the popularity of the store grows so will the use of the drive-through which will, of course, spill out into the small parking area. Sicne Panera is as popular a morning destination as Starbucks you can imagine the jams that could occur. Anyway the store has a lot of promise, so lets review.

The Good. The store is at a nice location on two major roads. This makes it a great destination for a number of people in the surrounding government parks. The store is quiet, clean, and seems to be well run. The individuals in it are very professional. The drink I ordered was great. On top of that I was offered a free upgrade on the drink giving me more coffee for my buck.

The Bad. The crew could be a little more lively and pay a little more attention to the floor. Like I said I made it all the way to the bar before anyone noticed me and greeted me. I think the greeting is an extremely important part of customer service. Other than that I can not offer to much more bad information at this time. Like I said time will tell.

Final. Over all this is a great Starbucks with a whole lot of potential. If the store continues to operate as it is I would not be surprised if it became as atmospheric as the West End Shops location. I would certainly use this location again, and would even go out of my way to get to it.




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Starbucks - West End Shops 8902 W Broad St. Richmond, Virginia

Lets face the facts. There are some stores and restaurants that are good, but the atmosphere is not too inviting and there are other stores and restaurants that are average but have the best atmosphere ever. The Starbucks at the West End Shops falls into the later category.


When you walk into the Starbucks you notice that it is a bit smaller than some of the others in the area, but more importantly you notice that you have just been greeted by at least one of the employees behind the counter. In our day and age where the only time you are greeted by anyone in a store is either by a designated and hired "greeter" or a corporate decision to yell at you as you walk in the door you can understand how pleasant it is for someone to genuinely look up from what they are doing to acknowledge your presence in their store.

Looking around at the store and it simply looks used. It doesn't look spotless and it doesn't look neglected either. It just looks like it is trafficked and well visited. The consumer product area is generally nice and neat, but there are times that I have seen it in disarray. Outdoors area is generally clean, but the big glaring issue is the trashcan out front. It is almost always overflowing, no matter what time of day. I have been there at 6am and it is full and I have been there at 6pm and the same. Now I know that most likely the removal of trash is the responsibility of the strip mall's owner and is contracted out, but Starbucks could easily handle an overflow to improve the overall atmosphere of their store.

The main thing about this store that ultimately makes it one of the best is their employees. All of them are professional, polite, and extremely attentive. It was just a matter of days before they knew my order by heart and knew me by name. Even so, as I walked in the door I could here the person at the register call out my order and I could hear the barista repeat the order, thus eliminating any mistakes. My order was always dead on the money and the quality of the drink was consistent every time.

The days that their store was slow, the employees made small talk but was never pushy about it. We could chat or not. I just feel that anything wrong with the store (as in how clean or straight it was) was canceled out by the sheer professionalism of the staff. It was hard for me to change from this location (which is still my weekend location) to the drive through, which as I stated in a previous post is just as good, but could take a note or two from this location. Simply it just came down to location. So lets review.

The Good. The staff rocks. Its as simple as that. They take customer service to a level that each and every consumer would be happy with. They are very good at their jobs and it shows. On the occasion that there is a new employee, it is only a matter of time until they are up to the same standards as their tutors. The store is neither bad nor extremely good, but rather just as a store that popular should be. They keep it clean, but it definately shows the use it gets on a day to day basis.

The Bad. The store is popular. It is next to two restaurants, a ice cream place, and a movie theater. The get you in and out very fast, but sometimes you will have to wait 5 - 10 minutes depending on the volume of customers. Additionally the outside area could have a little more attention paid to it so you do not have to walk through over flowing trash to get to the front door.

Over all this is an excellent store and worth the trip if it is a little farther than your normal store.








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Starbucks - Twin Hickory 11321 Nuckols Rd, Glen Allen Va

If there was an alternative universe where everything was opposite then this Starbucks would be awesome. As it stands, however, we are not in an alternative universe and this Starbucks is probably the worst Starbucks I have ever been in. It just goes to show that for every best place there has to be a worst place too.


Where to start? Well for a company who's main goal is to peddle as much caffeine as possible it seemed as though none of their employees knew that or had ever even heard of caffeine. In fact it seemed like a prerequisite to even work at this location was to take ample amounts of Valium or Quaalude's. I have never seen a Starbucks in which it seemed that the employees did not drink their own Kool-Aide.

The two baristas who worked behind the bar seemed more interested in their own conversations that the line of 7 people waiting to place their order, not to mention the queue of 10 people waiting for their order to be finished. The guy who ran the register while sporting a stylish "taxi driver" mohawk seemed more interested in the potential cougar customer he was flirting with about his haircut than actually taking people order or money. When he finally did take my order he talked like a cassette tape that had been stretched over the years. He didn't make any sense and he did so very slowly.

I have actually been in a Starbucks (Carytown - 3555 West Cary St. Richmond, Virginia) in which the line was literally out the door and I placed my order and received my drink in less than 3 minutes. This location at Twin Hickory was not even close. There were seriously maybe 8 of us in the store and took me almost 20 minutes to receive my drinks.

By the way if you are asking yourself why I didn't walk out like I am sure you would have, well then I wouldn't be able to review it would I?

On top of all of this, they messed up the coffee order AND it tasted like crap. So let review.

The Good - It is rare, but I really can not think of anything that was good abut the store or the experience other than a fellow patron complimenting me on my Greyhounds that were outside with my wife.

The Bad - Well the main one would be the staff who didn't seem to be interested in being there or in doing a good job. They did seem, however, like they would be a good source of information if I ever wanted to act like a zombie. The ordering process was a complete joke. There was no redundant "call back" of what I ordered, thus allowing the order to be interpreted instead of being made the way I had paid for. The girls making the drink just seemed like they didn't want to be there.

The store itself was in horrible condition. It reminded me of a McDonalds after a breakfast rush from a tour bus. Newspaper was strewn everywhere. The consumer items where all over the place, and the "fixin's bar" was an utter mess with spilled sugar and wet material. I did not even venture into the bathroom to see how clean it was. I could only imagine.

The outside of the store was tidy, however. The area around the store was clean and void of trash and butts. I will have to give them that.


I just can not emphasize how horrible of an experience this was when compared to the large number of other Starbucks in the area and how they conduct their business.

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Starbucks - 3820A Gaskins Rd, Richmond VA

This is the latest and greatest Starbucks in my area. I can't say it is new, because it has been around for about a year. It is under 2 miles from my house, on the way to work, has a drive-through, and is almost sitting right on top of the freeway entrance.

This particular location and I had a very rough start and we almost didn't make. I almost retreated back to the amazing people at the Starbucks located at the West End Shops,
8902 W Broad St.

Now you may be asking yourself how someone can have a rocky beginning with a Starbucks. Well, to be honest it is pretty easy. When I first noticed that there was a bulding being erected in the little no man's land at the top of the entrance ramp I was a bit intrigued. When I saw the sign that read "Caribou Coffee Coming Soon", I was immediately non-plussed (albiet impressed with their use of alliteration) because of my vast experience with the Caribou Coffee franchise in many American airports, none of which were ever good. The building was finished, but sat vacant for a number of months. Ultimately the sign was removed and a few months later the familiar Starbucks moniker was raised.

When the store finally opened it was plagued with a number of mishaps. At least twice I showed up to get coffee around 7 am and found it to be closed, with a small signed posted at the drive through window indicating "delayed opening due to difficulties". This was a bummer since I had bypassed my usual Starbucks location in favor of a speedy drive through coffee run on my way to work...at the entrance to the freeway. So that screwed up my coffee run. Not to mention unless I want to make a course correction on my way to work, I run into no more Starbucks stores. As odd as that sounds since I have 12 Starbucks within spitting distance of my house, there are zero anywhere close to my office.

The last issue on their end was the fact that no matter what I ordered it always tasted like watered down coffee. Screw that, it actually tasted like the water they put in the shot glasses to rinse them out between shots. Then for a few weeks after that everything I ordered tasted like the new Pike Peak flavor of bitterness. I would order a cappuccino and it would taste like drip Pike Peak roast coffee. I would order a latte and the same thing. It was so bad in fact that I quit going to that location completely. I just took the extra time to stand in line at the West End Shops Starbucks (8902 W Broad St).

A few weeks later I was headed out of town and decided to give the place one more chance. I went to the drive through and armed with a free gift card I received a few days prior, ordered my usual drink. It came out exactly as I would have wanted it to. It was perfect. Since that time I almost exclusively use that Starbucks location for my "on the way to work" coffee.

The Good. The store is clean inside and out. Think about that. How many Starbucks locations can you actually say that and mean it? Sure you may have an immaculate inside, but you pass that overflowing garbage can on the way in, or spot the tables and chairs outside sprawled apart as if they had been partying all night, complete with the overflowing ashtray to prove it. Or you may have a beautiful entrance and parking lot only to find a hideous bathroom inside or a shelve of consumer products in complete disarray.

Sure, most of you are thinking who the hell cares? Well, first impressions are very important to me, but more importantly a clean store communicates to me that the staff is up to the task of taking care of their customers. I love good customer service and I think it should be considered the cornerstone for any good business. I, however, am in the minority when I also think good customer service does not mean "the customer is always right", but thats another post altogether. Anyway, cleanliness counts. Enough said about that.

The staff at the store is incredible. I think they would be the second best staff I have ever encountered in a Starbucks. The people in the store are polite and cheerful whenever you come in. They take your order, tell it to the barista, who actually repeats it back to confirm it, and then complete the transaction. I have not seen this level of competence in a long time. Now I am not trying to claim that other locations who do not repeat the order back are incompetent, but this store gets rid of an question regarding the drink to make sure it is flawless and to keep the line moving. No mistakes means no remakes means no line congestion.

Finally the drive through staff is incredible. They actually recognize my voice. One young lady said I should just say "its me" instead of ordering. The next day I did, and it worked just fine. Of course it also means I happened to recognize her name when she greeted me before asking to take my order.

I guess by and large the store is very friendly . I am not saying that every Starbucks must recognize me on sight or by voice. What I am saying is that this store is polite and cheerful which creates the type of atmosphere where recognizing the regular is a priority.

The Bad. Well there is not too much I can say about this store that it bad, but I do have a criticisms. It seems that they have not obtained "coffee ninja" status. There are days when the operation of the store seems very slow. I could be third in line, but end up waiting almost 10 minutes before getting to the window after I had already placed my order. Now everyone has an off day, and I have been stuck in line at a Starbucks before, but if you are going to place a store near the highway and have a drive through option, that is where your star coffee makers need to be, not working the inside bar.

Final. A great store which makes for a great experience either on the way to work or if you just want to lounge in the store on a Sunday morning. All in one of my favorite in town.
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A Serene Thank You

Hanzo welcomes you to his serene piece of the interlink. I hope you will be entertained and find the Hanzo posts informative and fun.

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Serene Swarm of Starbucks

Starbucks Logo Trademarked and Owned by Starbucks

I used to travel a lot with my old job. It took me all over the state on a regular basis and all over the country on a semi-regular basis. The one thing I could almost always count on was finding a Starbucks Coffee (unless I was at my office, which happened to be the only black hole coffee void known to man). If I didn't see a Starbucks right away, my GPS or friendly concierge would usually point me to one. None of this was needed, however, if I was at home.

No joke, I have 12 Starbucks Coffees within 4 miles of my house (truth be told 2 of them are 4.3 miles). If I go an additional 4 miles I run into 4 more. Additionally there is one more under construction that falls into the 4 mile range. If I travel into the city I get another 7 to chose from.

Now let me tell you about where I live. It is not in a large city. It is not near a large technology park, and it is not in Seattle. I live in the middle class suburbs of Richmond, Virginia. Now like I said, I have traveled all over the country for business and pleasure, and I hardy ever find this kind of saturation (though I have seen in).

So with this many to chose from, it just stands to reason that I have my favorites and my not so favorites, as well as a couple of Starbucks that I have never had the reason to go to. You, dear reader, will be able to hear about them all. After all, isn't that what the interlink is for?

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